Proverbs 20:3 -Honor belongs to the person who ends a dispute, but any fool can get himself into a quarrel.
When I was young my grandfather and I used to watch professional wrestling on Saturday
nights. On a number of shows, after the “bad guy” would quickly defeat his opponent in the ring, he would taunt the crowd and try to pick a fight with someone in the audience. It was like he just wasn’t satisfied defeating the opponent in the ring; he had to continue fighting. He was just looking for a good fight.
Then a “good guy” would pop up from the audience. Someone you didn’t expect who was
stronger, faster than the “bad guy”. The two would immediately start fighting and with just a few big blows, the “bad guy” would be defeated. The “bad guy” got more than he bargained for and ultimately lost the match. He lost because he started looking for a “good fight”.
In life we sometimes have a tendency to look for fights. We may have a legitimate issue with
someone where we “hold our ground” and fight for our point of view. But after making our point and winning our case, we want to take it further. We want to “jump out of the ring and go into the audience”.
Fighting then becomes an outlet for other feelings and motives. It becomes a way to vent our anger and frustration. It becomes a means to seek vengeance; we just want to “drill them into the ground”. At times we are disappointed with someone else and this person just happens to be the one who takes the brunt of our feelings. And for some of us, we just like the feel of “winning” and being in the dominant position. We just like beating someone down, just because we can.
But following this path can cause us to end up like the “bad guy” wrestler and lose a lot more than we can imagine. Looking for a good fight causes damage to our relationships. The recipient of our “emotional blows” could end up with: hurt feelings, loss of confidence, fear, anger at us, a desire to take vengeance out on us, or a desire to avoid us. Children are most susceptible to emotional injuries because they have no way to defend themselves from a dominant adult. They also learn bad habits that carry on into the next generation.
Do you have a habit of taking things too far when you make your point discussions? Are you
damaging relationships with others? Are your children taking the brunt of your frustrations with others? Are you setting them up to be “bad guys” in the future?
This Proverb tells us that it’s easy to “jump out of the ring” and look for a “good fight”; any fool can do that. But it’s an honorable person of good character and reputation who ends disputes. Don’t be like the “bad guy” wrestler and lose more than what you bargained for.