PROVERBS 17:14 - To start a conflict is to release a flood; stop the dispute before it breaks out.
Back in World War 1 (WW 1), armies used to dig trenches to take cover and defend their position. Although effective in that respect, soldiers suffered many other adverse effects of being in the trenches: disease from being in waste, rats and lice from near-by decaying corpses, foot disease from being in water for days, as well as being in confined spaces with other soldiers…live, wounded and dead.
About the only way to get the enemy out of the trenches was to slowly kill them off or blow them up using mortars or tanks.
In marriage we have a tendency to dig emotional trenches on different issues. We take our stand and emotionally dig in to show strength and to defend our position. If we see anything or anyone opposing our “position”, we shoot first and ask questions later. Our mindset becomes one of the flesh, and not the Spirit.
In the flesh, the relationship will begin to suffer in other areas. Lack of communication is the first “disease”, and then lack of intimacy. If prolonged, you could end up with the relationship getting “blown up” and suffer death.
WW 1 trenches were deep; sometimes up to 12 feet. Emotional trenches can be deep as well, to the extent where you need help getting out. This is where we need to embrace Christ into the issue. Romans 8:5-7 tells us that the mindset of the flesh is death, but the mindset of the Spirit is life and peace. The word “peace” comes from a word that means to join or tie together, wholeness; when all essential parts are joined together.
Give the issue to the Lord. Lower your emotional barriers, as much as you can, to open up your mind and heart to Him…first. Be willing to allow Him to speak to you and guide you, trusting Him in every step. The solution may come with you, or the other person, or through a change of circumstances, immediately or over time…but always according to His perfect plan.
Proverbs 16:1 tells us that in spite of our plans and thoughts, the wise answer comes from the Lord. Avoid emotional trenches; allow the Lord to settle the issue.