Proverbs 28:5: A person who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.
Question: Did you know that God hates flattery? Well, He does! Simply because it’s rooted in deception and lies, and the character of God is not deceiving nor is He a liar. At His core, God is always open to lovingly rebuking (correcting) someone and always against flattering someone. Interestingly, rebuke and flattery are both pleasing and painful, but just at different times. Typically, rebuke is painful at first but later pleasing; flattery is at first pleasing but later painful. Don’t miss the subtlety there.
Here’s what I mean, I once had a coworker / mentor tell me “you need to be better at owning the work you do”. In full transparency, this made me feel some type of way [painful at first] because to be honest, I wasn’t trying to hear all of that. I did good work and performed well, but apparently she saw something that needed correcting in me that I didn’t. However, after much conversation I ended up correcting it and to my surprise, in my next performance assessment, my manager revealed how I improved in taking full ownership of projects while putting my stamp on them [later pleasing]. I was completely dumbfounded.
As I reflected, my mentor could’ve easily flattered me, telling me I’m the best thing walking [pleasing at first], but in the end I wouldn’t have grown. And as the scripture says, I would’ve had a net spread for my feet because over time my ego probably would have gotten the best of me, trapping me in my own downfall. As I reflect back, she did exactly what a loving friend is supposed to do — Speak the truth in love! (Ephesians 4:15)
If we look at the life of Jesus, He never once flattered the Pharisees to simply be accepted by them. In fact, He did the exact opposite, and this is why they wanted Him dead (Mark 7:5-13). Jesus always spoke the truth, and it was always sautéed in love, grace, and wisdom.
One way to quickly detect flattery and people who are keen to tickling your ears. Ask yourself: Do I only have “yes men and women” in my circle, who never challenge to correct my behavior, my thoughts, or my sins? If so, you may want to reevaluate your circle while examining your own heart for why you gravitate towards those types of relationships. The Bible says these are the worst friends to have, and for yourself, the worst type of friend to be.
Ask yourself: Would I rather be temporarily wounded by God and his people for my good or accept a kiss from the devil for my pleasure? You choose.
Proverbs 27:6 (NLT): Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.
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